Lent Schedule
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February 1, 2026
Published January 29, 2026
My dear Kirkland Catholics,
Since Fr. Val and my homily series on vocations is fairly marriage-centric, but maybe not as long on “practicals” as it is on theology, I thought that offering in this column a few skills every married couple can practice, regardless of how long you have been married or how well things are going now.
- The skill of listening without preparing your rebuttal. Most conflicts in marriage are not really about facts, but about feeling unseen or unheard. The simple discipline of letting your spouse finish a thought without interrupting, correcting, or planning your response is a powerful form of love. St. James tells us, “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” That is not just good Christian advice—it is excellent marital advice. It is also worth practicing “proactive listening” where you repeat back to them in summary what you heard them say or how you perceive they are feeling about what they shared.
- The skill of repairing after conflict. Every marriage has arguments. The difference between healthy and unhealthy marriages is not the absence of conflict but the presence of repair. A simple, “I’m sorry, that came out harsher than I meant,” or “Can we start again?” is often more important than proving who was right.
- The skill of gratitude spoken aloud. Many couples feel grateful for one another but stop saying it. Yet gratitude that is not expressed tends to fade into assumption. A marriage thrives when small thank-yous are frequent: “Thank you for taking care of that,” “I noticed what you did,” “I’m grateful for you.” These are small phrases with Sacramental weight—they make love visible.
- The skill of praying together, even briefly. You do not need eloquent prayers or long devotions. A single Our Father before bed, a Hail Mary before a hard conversation, or simply entrusting your children and concerns to God together reorients your marriage from being merely about “us” to being about “us before God.” Prayer reminds couples that they are not carrying their marriage alone.
- The skill of daily self-gift. Marriage is not primarily about “having my needs met,” but about learning how to give myself faithfully to another. This self-gift is lived in ordinary ways: doing a chore without being asked, yielding a preference, making time when you are tired. Love is not proven in grand gestures alone, but in quiet consistency.
None of these skills are glamorous. None will ever trend on social media. But practiced patiently, they shape a marriage that is strong, joyful, and deeply Christian.
And if your marriage is struggling right now, let me say this clearly: practicing even one of these, imperfectly, is already a step toward healing. Grace works through small fidelities. Let us entrust all our married couples—and all who hope someday to be married—to the Holy Family of Nazareth: Mary, Joseph, and Jesus, whose hidden life was rich not because it was easy, but because it was faithful.
With love in Christ,
Fr. Brad